Power and Love

This verse is very fitting for the feelings of anxiety that stir within my spirit right at this very moment. Any feeling of worry or fear is not of God. Any feeling that threatens my peace is unholy and not to be welcomed. God has given us a very upright spirit that bores love, sound judgment and is so full of His awesome power!In one of my very first posts I talked briefly about quitting my job last year and going to work in a family business. 

The truth of the matter is, I delivered MYSELF out of a situation in which God had strategically placed me in order to be made by Him. I had grown weary and did the unthinkable. I fainted. I was so disappointed in myself for giving up after all the hard work and blessings that came from this position. I paid dearly for walking over the Lord that way. I've had to confess and repent of some things that would have been prevented had I stayed in my Father's house instead of playing the role of a lost son. We read about Him today at church and I was painfully reminded of how I acted like an ingrate back in October last year. The blessing in it all is when we truly confess and repent out of a sincere heart God still welcomes us with open arms. The point now is to not be a repeat offender but to stay in my Father's house because that is the safest place. 

I said all that to say I have taken a healthy share of humble pie and will return to my old job tomorrow and finish out whatever work the Lord has for me. I have been so anxious in the past few days it's unreal. Many thoughts of failure and inferiority have crept into my mind. I thank God for the house of refuge that He has given me. Receiving the true en-grafted Word of God, I'm reminded to keep my eyes on the cross and remember that if I cannot suffer I shall not reign with my Lord and Savior in Heaven.

Plastered all over everything I own, this verse gives me strength to calm down and get out of myself enough to remember that this is not about me, but about carrying out the work that Jesus has set before me. Thank God for Him!!!! My prayer is that even though the small sliver of worry I still carry, I will allow the will of the Father to be done in my life through this job. 

Be inspired...to be better! 

Free

As women I believe we have some sort of strand in our DNA that allows us to put on a happy face for the sake of everyone else's happiness; to make sure that we don't inconvenience anyone else with our own battles. And especially as strong women of God we try hard at times to appear strong at all times. Well I am here to tell you that what truly makes us strong is admitting when everything is not okay.

                                                     This weekend I was not OK.

 was blessed when I received a word from God letting me know that I would have to make peace with some people I'd been unconsciously holding resentments against. It was also brought to my attention that I would have to get honest about some things I had been dishonest about last year. It was a bit much to swallow within 3 days but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to deepen this relationship I have with my savior. Saturday evening I found myself plotting how I would approach each situation and I had nothing. I prayed and wrote in my journal...meditated for a minute, but still nothing. As I lay in my bed that night I cried out to God in the name of Jesus to show me the way. One thing I do know is that I am nothing and can do nothing without Him. shortly after I became very hopeful that I would get my answer at church the next morning.

And just like He always is, God was faithful and gave me hope and filled me with joy from the powerful word I had received. In my spirit dwelled a strong urge to confess some things to my spiritual leader, and right after church I asked her to speak with me in confidence. I felt so heavy carrying the unconfessed sin that I had no problem letting it out to her when we were alone. I felt better, but there was still work to do.

When I arrived at my house I began to catchup on some housework I had not finished the previous evening, and I started t feel that heaviness come over me again. It went on all afternoon and into the night. I turned on some classical music, lit some incense, and sat down to do some homework. I was up until 2:30 am with my eyes glued to a computer screen. when I woke up again this morning I was exhausted and still heavy. This evil spirit had gotten the best of me for long enough. I had identified him as the devil, but I did not talk back to him. Consequently I was still burdened by this ugly darkness. I had tried to make contact with the people I needed to make peace with and was unsuccessful. My spirit was still uneasy. I called my pastor and talked for a while. When I got off the phone I ran the devil as far into the ground as I could with his sick lies.... And then I smiled and praised God very loudly.

As just a babe in Christ I am not perfect and not nearly have I arrived. I still fall short and I have some roots that are deep within my heart. I pray constantly for the Lord to remove these roots and give me the mind to be the woman He would have me to be. Sometimes I allow the devil to infect my spirit with his deceitfulness. And I pick myself up and call him on his bluff. I am so grateful for the church family I have, a place of refuge where I can go, and be free to show God exactly who I am so He can fix me. He is the only one who can.

If you are or have ever allowed the devil to consume your thoughts you know how it feels to be in bondage. There is power in the living breathing word of God and we can all find hope there. If the devil is telling you what a horrible screw up you are he is the the author and father of lies, and firmly let him know he has no place in your house. Be encouraged, be uplifted, be blessed.

Be inspired...to be better!

Gifts

Leave your gift there in front of the altar.

 First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:24

 

         Sometimes the very thing we think we're bothered by is not what God is bothering with at all. Sometimes the problem that is most obvious is the least important. Or it just means something else...

 

         When I attended Narcotics Anonymous in years past they had so many sayings that have stuck with me all this time. One of these themes was: Get to the exact nature. To me that means getting to the core, getting to the point. We can beat around the bush at something all day long, but when we get one word from God it sheds so much light on the subject. My mind is blown everytime God makes his appearance that way.

 

          This morning I had a seriously heated argument with my significant other. So serious I actually questioned whether or not this thing is really going to work. I tried to force onto him my belief in a certain matter and for hours I tried to understand why this I had been thrown for a loop, yet he felt it was no big deal. My spirit was so unsettled as I cried and prayed and asked the Lord to give me some clarity in the situation. We sat in silence for a while. We ran errands with nothing on but the radio. Eventually we made an effort to carry on small talk. I was no longer upset with him, but still felt awkward. He's left town for work now and I wish so badly that he were here. We made up before he left, but I hate to see him go after a bad day like this.

 

          The hope came when I started researching and running references for another writing piece. I picked up my devotional that I skipped on this morning and read the verse listed above. what really caught my eye was the title of today's devotion: Be Reconciled! the words jumped out at me and I knew exactly what God was telling me. And my unsettled spirit had nothing to do with the misunderstanding from this morning....

 

         I cannot enjoy all God has for me; I cannot give myself fully and wholly to Him until I rid myself of all the excess baggage that I have with my brothers and sisters on Earth. I cannot love God and not love my enemy. I cannot hold a resentment and expect God to forgive my sins. It is not fair to even think of avoiding humility when Jesus was beaten, spit on, mocked, and nailed to a cross.

 

       I thought I was okay and I could move forward, but I cannot sit comfortably under the true engrafted word and not be obedient. I would be damned if I did. So.......

to all my readers and followers I will go now to make peace with someone I had no idea I even had to make peace with . Am I doing it for favor? Only God's. Am I doing it to save face? I must practice humility. Am I doing this to keep a friend? The best friend I have is Jesus, and obedience is the key to righteousness.

 

Be Inspired...To be better!